Hello Blog Land Residents!!
Hopefully you were able to celebrate Canada's birthday!
Last night, I went to Mc Bar to watch some live music. I met a few friends and thought I would relax and enjoy the evening.
I also enjoy watching crowds! WOW.. I need to remember to bring a camera, because last night was Full O Freaks!
In fact it could have been called a Freakfest!
I would have given it a Five Star Freak Rating!
It could have had something to do with the football game. I do not understand those crazy dedicated fans. It was a sea of green...everywhere! Have you ever felt like you do not belong?
(I could actually hear the "one of these things is not like the others" Sesame Street song running through my head!)
Now if you are a Football Team fan, congratulations!
I would be burnt to a crisp if I sat out in the sun cheering for men wearing funny costumes chasing an odd shaped ball around a field.
I would also probably be beaten up, because if you are a rowdy drunk, you are usually attracted to me, and I am a bit of a smart ass, and this usually makes for a precarious relationship.
OK.. back to the McBar story....
It is common knowledge that Freaks are attracted to me... in fact it has become a bit of a joke among the people I hang out with. If there is a freaky-weirdo..inevitably they are talking to me at some point in the night.
Last night was a hat trick of freaky!
It could be my fault.. perhaps I am a freak and people have just avoided telling me this.
I could have brought it on myself because I laughed at a girl eating a banana in the bar.
Yes folks you read it here first.
A girl in a pretty dress eating a banana at 12:25AM in a bar.
Is this what people do now? I remember finding it odd not too long ago when the person beside us at the movies took out an apple from her purse and started crunching away.
Well, it is good to get your servings of fruit in throughout the day.
I was not the only one watching the girl eat the banana.. it was causing quite the stir among the table of men beside her.
I thought perhaps she lost a bet, or was in dire need of potassium. But nope, just a girl that thought it was a good idea to chow down on a banana in a bar.
I watched her and laughed, and then laughed at the dudes mesmerized by her banana eating abilities.
My friends got up to dance, and I said I would be the babysitter of the drinks. I should know by now, never be separated from the herd.
I was sitting alone at our table when a guy slithers ...yes, slithers up and gives me the old classic line... "Hey, are you having fun?" He is a close-talker, and invading my personal space.
I smile my best I am nice ...but can you please go away smile and said something like "yes, good music, and Happy Birthday Canada, blah blah blah. "
He says "What are you doing later?"
I say "going home." (and roll my eyes)
He is not picking up on my I am Just Not That Into You hints.
He slurs "Do ya wanna do something"
I say "UH, NO I do not know you."
He says "I would like to get to know you better, you should come hang out with me, I will show you a good time."
The dude can barely stand, and is not taking a hint.
I say I DO NOT THINK SO"
arrrgh... he eventually leaves and skulks over to some other poor chick sitting away from the herd.
My dancing friends come back for a while, and I tell the story, and we watch the get to know me better dude stumble from girl to girl.
There are witnesses as the next guy approaches.
"HEEEYYYYY are you having FUN???" (drunk and slurring.. him, not me)
I say "yes, it is a good night", he asks again if I am having fun.
I say YES, and then out of stupid curiosity I ask "Does it look like I am having a bad night?"
He says no, and then asks " Are you having Girl Issues tonight?"
I say HUH???
He repeats the question, and I play dumb.
He asks again "Are you having Girl Issues tonight?
I ask him.. "can you be a little more specific.... What are the girl issues of which you speak?"
He says "You know."
I say..."Nooo I think you should tell me."
He gets flustered and leaves.
I sit there shaking my head.
Then the girls at the table discusses what the Girl Issues could be??
We decided our only issues were drunken idiots.
He first approaches my friend. He wants to buy her a drink and then dance with her. (she usually attracts the good looking ones that I wish I would attract.)
He is in his late 50's she is in her late 30's. She says "no thanks, I am too tired to dance."
He then turns to me and says he will lose a bet if we do not let him buy us drinks. He then offers to buy us drinks again and when we refuse (again) he asks if we want to snort some coke. We say thanks, but no. He continues to pester us until we tell him he should go and find another dance partner.
This guy is totally coked-out (and looks like a murderer) and leaves to treadmill-arm dance on the dance floor all by himself. My friend and I look at one another and say.. "Time to Get Outta Here!!"
We leave and a very drunk young man almost knocks me over as he stumbles to remain upright.
Yup... time to go home!
as I write this I think to myself:
Canada, I hope you had a good Birthday last night.